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The Resolution Game: The Secret They Didn’t Tell You...

Updated: Jan 20, 2019



I love New Years, not just because of the opportunity to make a fresh start, but it provides some of the best comedic material ever. Before you start judging me, allow me to explain myself.


I laugh because I've been there and done that. I've made those resolutions to lose weight, to be a better manager, to be a better friend etc.  I start off with a bang by getting in the gym or buying all the great leadership and self help books and all that stuff one thinks they need to make it work. We're good through the month of January, and maybe the first week of February. Then LIFE happens and we start to  slowly get distracted so that by March we're basically back to our "Normal" routine. Sound familiar? What's so funny about that you ask? Where's the humor? So glad you asked....


I laugh because every year it's the same thing over and over again. Someone defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Every year we think we are going to succeed at whatever goal we have by making a resolution to change at the first of the year only to be back to our old ways by the end of February. The truth is that it's really not funny. We've all fallen into that trap. I could give you a long list of reasons why but I'm going to make it simple and just come out and tell you RESOLUTIONS ARE A SET-UP FOR FAILURE!


We are always looking for new ways to become better at life. Whether it's playing sports, succeeding in business, leading our family or simply leading our own lives, the desire to be all that we can be drives us to set goals and make resolutions to get better. But here’s the bottom line RESOLUTIONS ARE TEMPORARY, TRANSFORMATION LASTS A LIFETIME!

My Transformation Story


Let's start at the beginning. My dad always used the phrase " I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired" What he meant was that i'm at that point that I have had enough of where I am. When we come to that point, then and only then can we get on that road to transformational life change. That road starts with the realization of three things:

  1. I need to change: what I'm doing isn't working for me any more and I know it because I've hit the bottom. 

  2. I can't do it alone: I need help because everything I've tried has failed. If i could truly do it, I'd have done it by now. I need someone to show me the way. 

  3. It's not about me: My actions are affecting others around me. Not only will my life be better, i can make someone else's life better. 

That road isn't an easy one and I know this all to well. For years, I struggled with my health especially when it came to my weight. It was after burying a third family member who died at age 52 that I realized i needed to do something about it. It wasn't a desire fit in a pair of pants but it was literally a matter of life and death. Yeah I was playing basketball several times a week and occasionally lifting weights, but I still was struggling to walk up three flights of stairs to get to my condo.


That wasn't the only sign something needed to change but that realization came at a time when I was battling to manage a condition that I have that seriously affects my quality of life. My doctor said that getting my weight down was going to put me in a better position to live a quality life which at that time was not happening. So the goal was to lose the weight.


It took me a few years to accomplish but I lost the weight and for the last few years, I have never gone back. It feels great to do things now that I struggled to do before. How did this happen you ask? It was actually simple. What I learned after years of trying to lose the weight and bouncing around the scale, was that I couldn't do it on my own, I needed someone who knows what to do to help me get things straight. I needed to be mentored. Say what? Mentoring? Yes mentoring! That’s the secret!!



Mentoring Transformation

We've all heard this term used a lot, but do we really understand what it is. Mentoring is all about relationships. The path to lasting change is built on relationships. We all need someone to show us the way, someone to share the experience with us and someone to inspire through our experience. 


Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so does one man to another” is one of those foundational scriptures or life texts whose theme has ran through every part of my life. There is so much I can say about that text but simply put, the best way to become better is with the help of others. For me, it was a crazy desire to do something that was out of the ordinary for someone approaching their 40th birthday, to dunk a basketball at age 40. What I quickly found out I needed help, enter my friends at Acceleration Sports Performance. What I found there was a group of people who weren’t afraid to challenge me to push the limits.


A good mentor isn’t afraid to push you. They know what it takes to get there. In your journey, who are those people who love you but aren’t afraid to challenge you. That’s who I had in my corner, people just as crazy as I was for thinking I could do this.


The idea of a man in his late 30's training with young aspiring athletes. After all, it's not like the league was calling or anything, but I've heard the sayings...if you want to go somewhere you've never been before, you have to take a path you've never taken before" and "if you don't want the same results you've always gotten, quit doing the things you've always done."  That's probably the best summation of the journey that I was embarking on. 



The next few years became an adventure for me. The more i trained, the better I got as an athlete. Over time,  I began to see my body transform into something I had only dreamed of, but that old familiar weight roller coaster was still going. It wasn't until my trainer Jimmy Carter (www.ingrainedtotrain.com) suggested that my issue was centered around eating. I thought he was crazy. I thought I was eating somewhat healthy and I was seeing results but I couldn't get off that roller coaster ride.  



After a few months I finally realized he was right and asked him how can I make that change. He challenged me to do a cleanse and rebuild program and he would coach me through it. Knowing how I am when it comes to challenges, I accepted and what happened was simply amazing. Those pounds came off, my body changed, my training went to another level and now I’m a middle aged athlete who can not only dunk a basketball just for fun or in games. In addition, I’ve become the mentor to athletes that not only can tell you but show you how to get it done. I’m able to serve as an inspiration for old and young alike to reach their dreams


How did this happen? No magic formulas or secret potions. This happened because I had a reason for my goal that was strong enough to fuel my journey. For me it was the desire to be all that God intended me to be and being overweight with health issues and a family history of early death was not His plan for me. 


When I laid down my own pride and allowed myself to be mentored in my journey, I finally saw the life transforming results that I had been seeking all along. So let me ask you, what’s holding you back from becoming all you have dreamed of being? If you’re serious about changing your life, you need someone in your life to push you there.


What I learned in my weight loss journey has translated to every area of my life. Nobody can do it on their own, you need people around you who are going to add to your life, not subtract from it. It truly is your pathway to success! Now that you know the secret, go get it, and tell someone about it!

Stay Forever Strong!