A Mentor's Heart

Mentoring has been defined in so many different ways. Everyone has their own take on what mentoring is. One of the best quotes I’ve run across comes from motivational speaker and entrepreneur Jim Rohn when he said: “My mentor said, ‘Let’s go do it,’ not ‘You go do it.’ How powerful when someone says, ‘Let’s!’” 

He’s right about the power of the word “Let’s “! It's one thing to be told what to do but it’s a whole other thing to have someone get in there and not only show you but do work with you. When I started my career in mentoring, it was my mentor and supervisor Al who said, grab your basketball gear and let’s go to the gym. He introduced me to the guys, we played with them and I watched him as he interacted with them. Afterwards he asked me if I could see myself doing the same, I said yes and for the next two years he spent time there as a part of my training and development as a mentor. 

As a mentor, our job is simple...to help. I read a quote recently from Bob Proctor  that sums up the definition of a mentor quite nicely: “A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.” That is what Al and others have done for me through the years and I have been doing the same for others.

Some people set out to create clones of themselves, but true mentors never seek to clone themselves. Rather, they seek to invest themselves into the individuals they’re mentoring and work towards helping them discover their identity and talents. They can see the potential in that person and they have the desire to help pull that out of them. Movie producer Steven Spielberg says this"

 “The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.”

When we see someone that we want to invest in, we often see the potential of what they could be. Motivational Speaker and Mentoring Guru John Maxwell says it best:

“One of the greatest values of mentors is the ability to see ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination.”

It’s something that doesn’t happen overnight. Sure you can have a feeling about a person but it’s not until you get to know them that you begin to see what that potential really is. I wish I could give you a magic formula on how this works, but there isn’t one. The one thing that effective mentoring relationships have in common is that…it’s built on the foundation of a relationship!

The relationship has to be both intentional and natural. As a mentor, you have to be intentional in wanting to invest in a person. There is a level of compassion towards another person that has to exist. It is that compassion that will lead you when you see someone with potential.  Once you see that potential in a person, you make yourself available to spend time getting to know and seeing where the relationship goes, that is where the natural comes in. 

Proverbs 27:17 says “as iron sharpens iron, so does one man to another”. This bible verse is a solid definition of what mentoring really is. It is one person interacting with another person.  As they’re interacting they are learning about each other. It requires that the mentee is willing to let the mentor into their life and allow them to speak into it. It is the interaction between the two that sets the platform for learning and growth to take place.

For me one of the best ways to do this has been using sports and competition. I use competitive situations to help me learn about people. Competition forces you to live in the moment. It’s way too easy to put up a “false front” in most situations, but when they’re engaged in the throws of competition, they can’t filter their true feelings.  Whatever is in you will come out. It’s been said many times that competition reveals character. If the mentee is putting in the work and competing at their best, it won’t matter what the outcome is, the most important thing I look for  is the fact that they put in the effort. It shows me that they not only are there for all of it and want to grow. If they can do this in competition, then it is highly likely that they will do this with everything they do in life.

Relationships can be built in many contexts. The important thing is that the mentor is willing to meet them where they are, take an interest in what they do and is willing to walk with them towards their destination. True mentoring is about seeing the potential in someone and being willing to step into their lives to bring it out of them. 

Whether you meet at a coffee shop or restaurant, play a few rounds at the local golf course or step into a gym and engage in some competitive basketball, it’s an opportunity to do life together. What may seem like just hanging out with people is really all about the relationship that is being built that will lead to something greater. 

The heart of a mentor is to see potential and be willing to step into their lives and walk with them towards the destination of them becoming all that they were created to be!

Stay Forever Strong!